I like to kill people and as of this moment, I have killed eleven of them. Not real ones of course, but fictional ones. I donâ€™t know that I would enjoy murdering a real person. I donâ€™t think I would be very good at it for one thing, and for another, it just seems too messyâ€¦ but give me paper, a pen and a storyline, and itâ€™s all I can do to let anyone get off of the page alive.
I donâ€™t know what it says about my psyche, that I so enjoy murdering make-believe people. Believe it or not, I donâ€™t have any unusual fixations with death or violence, but it would be
Written by Jared S. Anderson
interesting to see what a psychologist might say about it. My best personal guess is that it derives from a childhood spent watching horror movies and reading gory books. Then again, I have to wonder what drew me to that kind of story in the first place~ so it becomes a kind of what came first, The chicken or the egg? ordeal. I donâ€™t know the answer to that, and for the most part, Iâ€™ve given up trying to figure it out, but sometimes, something makes you stop and wonder why you are the way you are.
I was at a writing event with my friend Joe a few weeks ago, and as we introduced ourselves, we were asked, â€śSo, what do you write?â€ť Joeâ€™s answer was quick and confident, but when I was asked the same question, I hesitated. â€śUmmmâ€¦ horror, I guess,â€ť was my answer. This awarded me some chuckles and some confused looks. â€śI donâ€™t ever set out to write horror,â€ť I said, explaining myself, â€śbut thatâ€™s just the direction it always seems to go.â€ť They nodded their heads in understanding and I realized I was among others who understood the strange phenomenon of fiction writing; that I was home so to speak, and it made me wonder how much of what we write is a conscious decision and how much of it just is what it is.
Although I knew that the project I am currently working on with Kim Williams-Justesen was going to be horror from the beginning, I still didnâ€™t expect it to be quite so gruesome. And as for the one I wrote before it, I had no intention of it going so dark. It will be interesting to see what shape my next project takes on as I donâ€™t see any way it could possibly fall under the horror genre. Still, I somehow get the feeling that a little bit of that will creep into the story, with or without my consent. The question then is, do I allow nature to run its course, or do I steer the story in a milder direction? Is horror just a part of my writing voice that I need to accept, or is itÂ something I need to learn to control? And is that even possible? Again, I donâ€™t know the answer to those questions, but I will soon find out.
In the meantime, Iâ€™m having a hell of a good time shedding fictitious blood by the bucketfuls and will be sad when my current project, where murder and violence are expected, is finished.Â To me, there is true art in (fictional) murder, and everything from the shower scene in Psycho to the contemporary and far more complex murders in the Saw movies, make it clear to me that I am not the only one who feels this way.